Pencarrow Emergency Eta Peanuts

After my big walk last week, which left me a little sore for 3 days, I wanted to do something a little more easy going. I have also been thinking about cooking fish and mussels on a beach fire, getting all stone-age and cooking with no implements besides sticks and rocks.  I also wanted to work on my spoon in earnest and try out an experimental hobo stove I made in 2 minutes. I will put the results of these projects in future posts.

So Pencarrow seemed like a good deal. Flat track, short ride, fine day... I should of done my homework...

Pencarrow emergency Eta Peanuts. One lighthouse perched behind on the top of the hill, and the other bellow waiting like vultures.

Ingredients:

• 200g Eta Salted Peanuts
• Whole fish
• Green lipped mussels

The first thing you want to do is take your fish, and your mussels and throw them in the bin. Pencarrow is pure evil and no food should ever be cooked there. Only Eta Peanuts can be consumed.

The start of the Pencarrow gravel road is at the end of the sealed road running around Eastbourn, the east coast of Wellington harbour. It is just around the corner from the entrance to Butterfly Creek where you can, incidentally, make some excellent Butterfly Creek Black Bread . The road gives you access to the Parangarahu Lakes area, which includes a number of short tracks around the lakes and up to the old Pencarrow lighthouse on the top of the hill. 

Pencarrow will seem rather pleasant at first. It does not look far, maybe under an hour on bike. The sun shines, there is a gentle wind behind you. The Pencarrow road runs along a number of shallow bays and there are great views of the South Island, and Wellington. On the maps you can see two lakes which look to be an explorers wonderland!

Pencarrow is literally a shit hole, literally. Just around the corner from the Pencarrow lighthouse is a charming sewage outflow. The trail is festooned with a plethora of signs informing you of this. Don't swim in the sea. Don't eat anything caught from it. While you are at it, it might be a good idea not to breath for a bit aswell. To make you feel just that extra special once you get just around the tip of the coast you will be bathed in a beautiful soft sewagey sea spray. Delightful!

The lakes, while making my Ecologist heart go squee look squalid. The whole region is barren, and swept by winds intent on punching you in the face again and again,draining you of any moisture and possibly part of your soul too. There was no way I would cook in this unholy and unhygienic land. 

The whole place is made of hate and evil and once it lures you in it won't want to let go. As soon as you turn around to go back, regardless of the weather, you will be into a howling head wind. The sun, which until now was a gentle kiss on your neck, is now also putting the boot directly in your face. The wind and sun will conspire to flay you skin until it feels like this. 

Contrary to your now desiccated face, your nose will run and the wind will tear the salty line across your cheek as if dragging a miniature cat with salt dipped claws. For some added torture there will be a 20 second lull in the wind in the middle of each bay. But this is only because the wind has gone off to get a bucket of sand which it will gift to you as soon as you get around the corner. As well as adding to the general misery your skin and eyes, the sand will get into your bike which will start to screech and wheeze like a bag of metal bones. My bike got very angry and took a bite out of my leg. I don't blame her.

Don't go there. Stay home and play Skyrim.

The peanuts were good but you can eat those at home.

Pencarrow Road. You can just see the Southern Alps of the South Island top right.

Wellington, so close yet so far....

If you look along the beech you can find plastic bottles and other detritus. 

This is a new sign.....evil

Fuck you Pencarrow, fuck you.

Land of the damned

Mysterious massive concrete structure on the beech. I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.

Picturesque Lake Kohangapiripiri surrounded by stunning gorse.

That way be EVIL!

Pencarrow lighthouse at the base of the hill, with the South Island mountains just in sight on the horizon.

Old Pencarrow lighthouse on top of the hill (I think the top one is decommissioned)

Close-up of the lighthouse on top of the hill.

My bike is pissed off at me.

Satan is watching you suffer

The traumatised face of a survivor. It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Smiths Creek baked Kumera and Yams

It is a bit of a New Zealand classic to bake potatoes in the hot coals of a fire, and then putting large chunks of butter in the finished product. I might do this on another trip, but I wanted to put an different spin on it as this is something I have not seen done (though I am sure it has).

There was a bit of an uproar last week because of the exclusion of bacon from my recipe. Porridge and bacon simply did not appeal to me, but you are welcome to add some if that sounds good to you! I think I made a mistake this week adding it because I'm baconed out. The flavour did not really penetrate into these root vegetables and it did not enhance their natural sweetness. But it sure looked pretty. 

In the US and the UK you would call these vegetables different things. The orange vegetable in the picture below is an Orange Kumera, which is very similar to an American Yam (or sweet potato). The New Zealand yam at the bottom is something else entirely. I think it is called an Oca in the South American Andes (actually I know for sure cause I googled it).

Smiths Creek baked Kumera and Yams

Ingredients:

• Kumara (any kind will do)
• Yams (Oca)
• Tinfoil
• Bacon (I would not include this again)
• Smoky Fire

I'm rather chuffed with how I cooked these. I buried them in coals and then covered it all with sand from the river bed for a more controlled temperature. I kept the fire burning around it. I left them to baked them for just over 30 minutes. Next time I would take more tinfoil and wrap more layers as the sand sneaked it's way in and my vegetables and gave me some gritty mouthfuls. 

Smiths Creek is in the Tararua range. The car park has been shifted next to Camp Kitoke which adds a bit of time to the tramp and the sign says it will take 2-3 hours. At a fair clip I did it in 2. A department of conservation website lists it as an Advanced track and I would tend to agree, your grandma would not make it unless she is built like hyena. 

In the beginning you make your way over the aptly named puffer saddle which takes about an hour. The entrance side of it is not too bad, but the Smiths Creek side is rather full on and in a heavy rain would be totally treacherous. You have to contend with very slippery mud and tree roots. The track is often very rocky and it would be very easy to turn an ankle or have a fall. Some of the steeper sections require you to use your hands to traverse and walking along the creek has a number of hazards. 

Once over the puffer you need to cross a number of streams and negotiate slips and the occasional tree fallen across the track. Definitely a tramp that requires some excellent boots (I had some fairly hardcore single piece leather upper boots which were perfect), decent balance, a good pair of legs and a least moderate fitness. Always pack for extreme weather even in summer when heading into this place. If you are a tourist I can't emphasise enough how quickly the weather can turn in NZ and leave you frozen solid on a ridge on what was the sunniest of days,

The smiths creek side of the track is just wow. Beautiful mature dense, dark, rich, wet NZ bush. Ferns, podocarps, beach, pidgeon woods.... moss, epiphytes and lianas carpet the ground and drape from massive old trees.  Total bliss. I'm not religious and don't believe in a higher power, but my wonder of this forest borders on the spiritual.

The entrance side of the puffer

Smiths Creek side of the puffer

One of a number of streams you have to cross

Gorgeous!

Couple old ladies sharing a kiss

Beautiful Matai tree bark

The detour looked more grim than getting across the slips! I choose the later

Mysterious purple penis headed fungus

Smiths Creek Shelter is rather unpleasant, but I would rather be in than out in a downpour.

Back country graffiti

I dug up this awesome photo of the first time I went almost 30 years ago. I was only 10 years old on a school trip and we took the longer Dobson track. You won't believe it but here I am munching on a Bacon Sandwich!!!! I remember lugging a bitch of a heavy frying pan, but it was all worth it to enjoy in front of my teacher while he had his miserable muesli bars.

Nicole today!!

Rimutaka Rail Trail Porridge Soup

I have to be honest. After 3 weeks of charred delight I felt like something a bit less robust. What better than the classic breakfast of trampers, porridge soup (or porridge cake, take your pick. It is impossible to get the right consistency). For once here was no sign saying light no fires!

Rimutaka Rail Trail Porridge Soup

Ingredients:

• Rolled oats (I used scotch oats, cause if anyone can make good oats it is the Scots)
• Apple - Royal Gala 
• H2O
• Secret ingredient
• Smoky fire
• Mora

This meal is a five step process:

Step 1 - Sweeten and condense your milk. 

Step 2 - Mix all the other ingredients in a pot, less the apple, with about 1 cup of water, half a cup of oats...and another cup of water (for a better consistency about 1 cup and a bit will do).

Step 3 - add smoky fire

Step 4 - Mix in about a quarter cup of the secret ingredient. I put it in at the end so it won't burn in the pot. Try to resist lapping any remaining, otherwise the food will never be sweet enough. Besides it goes awesome in tea!

Step 5 - Slice apple with your Mora and add to soup.

It tasted glorious and warmed me up proper.

Warning: Failing to use the correct type of apple will result in death or blindness.

I have not been on the Rimutaka Rail Trail in about 10 years and I was surprised how much it had changed. Most of the trail runs through commercial pine forest and since I was there last a lot of it has been chopped down and replanted. It is an excellent ride, day or night.

It took me just over an hour to bike to the summit, with the trail gently sloping up the whole way. I was under dressed and my saddle was killing my ass. Something to note is you are exposed the whole way. In summer it is a dry desert and in winter there is no warmth to help counter the ill wind that constantly rides off the Rimutaka peaks. Whatever the weather you should take some toasty clothing. I only found wet wood which was slow to burn so I was pretty cold and miserable until the fire reached critical mass and I had hot cup of tea in me.

But for all that it was a rather pleasant ride. During the trip I was accompanied by the sounds of happy water and Tui's quietly muttering and gurgling to themselves. On a warm day you should be able to find a good water hole for a dip in the stream along the trail. Despite barren exposed sections there are some outstanding features along the way:

Old steam train tunnels with comforting signs that say enter at own risk

Gnarley old bridge

Trails cut through bed rock

Rusting remains of steam trains at the summit

The secret ingredient!!!

Rimutaka Rail Trail Summit

Oh shit!!

Manuka Spoon Part I

Inspired by one of my favourite Austrian survivalist, Survival Lilly, I decided that while I was waiting around watching my fire I would attempt to make a wooden spoon. While I was collecting fire wood on my last Orongorongo valley trip (see orongorongo-valley-tofu-and-mushroom kebabs), I came across a piece of Manuka which had a kind of natural spoon bit. Seems like the perfect place to start.

Potential Manuka spoon, or extreme sexual tool.....

At this stage I had just sawed the ends off and stripped the bark. The spoon end is a bit black as I was digging for a hot coal in the fire - but I will go into that in another post! While in the Orongoronga Valley I did do a bit more work on it but I seem to have misplaced the photos. But I did take some pics today which I will post later in the week.

Just in case you were worried I did not forget today trip - but I am just little tired so stay tuned for todays adventures tomorrow!

Orongorongo Valley Tofu and Mushroom Kebabs

Lately I have felt the desire to cook tofu on an open fire, just like our ancestors did. But I am very conscious that this may enrage many of my bacon fuelled readers and so I have come up with a fusion of herbivorous and carnivorous eating to create the perfect omnivorous offering. It has something for everyone!

Orongorongo Valley Tofu and Mushroom Kebabs

Ingredients:

• Tofu 
• Mushrooms 
• Good splash of soy sauce (It's like bathing Tofu in it's own blood) 
• Oregano 
• Juice of the Lemon 
• Bacon 
• smoky fire 

I constructed these yummies in advance and let them marinate in a container in my pack. Garlic would of been good but alas I was all out. I took a cake cooling rack which served as a marvellous lightweight grill. I think this is one of my best inventions so far. The tofu was not bad, the mushrooms rather awesome, but the rolls of streaky bacon was incredible - all crispy on the outside but yummy moist in the middle with a hint of the lemon and tofu blood.

Yum!

The Orongorongo Valley is nestled at the Southern end of the Rimutaka ranges. The easiest access is via walking from the Catchpool Valley. The sign says 2 hours though if you have a bit of a motor in your boot you can get there in under an hour. But if you are lugging a big pack, or taking your kids then 2 hours is probably realistic (unless of course if you have an 8 year old daughter who is fleet of foot and muscled like a cheetah, in which case more than likely she will be waiting for you for half an hour at the end of the track).

Orongorongo Valley

It is a downright sublime walk. While I blitzed it, got a late start as per usual, it is well worth taking your time to amble along and enjoy the sweet bush. It is like four seasons of bush in one day - Podocarps, stands of beach trees (bitches love the beaches!), Ponga tree ferns, and Nekau palms so unexpected they remind you that New Zealand is part of the Pacific. 

Ohh err um....

Northern Rata - This grandmother is slowly consuming
the dead remains of the Rimu it grew upon, What a bad ass!

Forest Gods be praised!

Beauticious walkings

Butterfly Creek Black Bread

Too much!

For anyone who grew up in Wellington, Butterfly Creek is this magical place that people love but have not been in ages. It's quite a beautiful walk, but a little bit of a grind up the hill and down to the Butterfly Creek picnic area on the other side. I took the Bus Barn route which suggests you need about an hour and 10 minutes to get there but I hauled ass and got there under 40 minutes. I had spent the entire morning playing Skyrim and was running out of day. Plus I decided not to eat lunch before I went just so I was extra motivated.

Something you should note is that there is a TOTAL FIRE BAN in the Butterfly Creek area. So whatever you do don't, I repeat, don't head south for about 15 minutes from the picnic area until you find a nice sheltered position by the stream. Very bad idea, no fires at Butterfly Creek people!

Butterfly Creek Black Bread

Ingredients:

• bit of salt
• some yeast
• touch of sugar
• bunch of flour
• water
• cold pressed olive oil
• Smoky fire

I had a stroke of mad genius to pre-make the bread doe. I put all the ingredients in my camp pot to make a firm but sticky mess. Don't bother with measuring too hard. You just need to fill about a third of your pot. I was a bit lazy and decided not to bother kneading it either, and I was curious about how it would turn out. After that I chucked it in my pack with the lid on and let it rise as I walked. Genius! (I also packed fixings for an emergency smoky bacon sandwich too).

All you need to do is add smoky fire, and brew a cup of tea while you wait. Then you leave it for about as long as you feel is 30 minutes without looking at your watch and you will be about there, 

Baking bread and making tea

Holy crap it worked!!

Success!!!!

Sacrificing the remains to the fire gods

Tips and Tricks: A thin bottomed pot will ensure a good even char and always pack fixings for an emergency smoky bacon sandwich.