Cooking Bush: 5 Minute Brutal Backpackers Stove

Summer here in New Zealand is not that far around the corner. I might be known to flaunt a fire ban or two. But while it is one thing in winter to light a fire when the bush is totally wet, even I will think twice when the land becomes drier and the gusting Wellington breezes can pick a spark up and burn down some fellas shed (errrr sorry about that...).

So I have been thinking up alternative cooking methods for this summer and have become rather interested in backpacking wood stoves. Reality is they won't circumvent a fire ban but my brain has been totally geeking out at the idea. I particularly liked the looks of the Emberlit stove which has gotten some good reviews. The price tag kind of put me off though so I did what any good reformed post Catholic would do. Using my knowledge of hell fire and brimstone I created my own stove!

Now I am as clever as an obese wild cat and perhaps was a little manic in the making of this thing of brutal beauty. I was also still inspired from watching that death growl chick from my last post. So when I discovered a can of beetroot in my cupboard that fit exactly in my giant mug so it came to be through an unholy alliance of beetroot, obese wild cats, and a death growl chick, the immaculate conception of the 5 Minute Brutal Backpackers Stove!!

5 Minute Brutal Backpackers Stove

Ingredients:

1 can of beets
Swiss army knife with pliers and a can opener
Another can opener cause that is just how brutal it was
5 minutes
1 smoky fire

Not much to it. I cut the top off and emptied the beets into another container for later devouring. I put the lid in the bottom just because it felt like it should have a solid floor to contain the hellish furnace which would soon be inhabiting it. Then I carved air holes in the top and bottom using the swiss army knife can opener. The main fire feeding hole at the bottom was done pretty much by tearing it open with the pliers. Brutal.

It was fun to make. You can look on-line and see all sorts of pussy wood stoves made by people who can bloody well afford a commercial one. None of them did as brutal a job as myself. Most of them spent longer polishing their cans than I did to make mine. That's right buddy, burning it in your back yard is not a field test!

I loved how it fit in my cup. That was cool. I loved how the paper label, which I left on, engulfed the whole thing in flames when I lit it. I loved how the cup fit perfectly on top.

Unfortunately I don't think enough air got in while the cup was on top. The embers blocked up the bottom air holes after a small while. I found that to keep it going good and hot I had to continuously feed in wood and blow on it at the same time - and just like burning the bowl for my Manuka Spoon I got lungs full of smoke and a hole in my face. Also the bottom of my mug was a mess.

In the end it took about 30 minutes to boil my giant cup of tea. Brutal.